Why do children exhibit preferences? By Ms. Richa Sinha
Children can show a preference for a particular person over others by saying things such as, "I want mumma to feed me." or "I want to sleep with grandma." This preference reflects not only the child's love but also a natural part of their development. Caregivers need to understand that their children's preferences might develop for a variety of reasons and should be viewed as a normal and transitory phase. Parents and caregivers can handle these circumstances with compassion and understanding.
Factors that highly affect the preferences of children:
Bonding and familiarity: Young children often develop a strong attachment to their primary caregiver, who meets their daily needs and spends more time with them.
Sensory Preferences: Infants and toddlers may have sensory preferences, such as finding the texture of one parent’s skin or the sound of their voice soothing or comforting.
Developmental Stage: As children develop, they go through various phases where they may show a stronger attachment to a particular caregiver. For example: during the toddler years, children often display more independence and may favor the caregiver who allows them more autonomy.
Emotional control: Children may prefer one caregiver over the others based on their emotional needs at that moment. A child in distress goes to the person who is soothing and comforting.
Consistency and boundaries: Children may gravitate towards the caregiver who establishes and maintains consistent boundaries, as it provides a sense of security and predictability. Limits should be consistent across the caregivers so that expectations and rules are clear in the child’s mind.
We can support children, by creating a supportive and nurturing environment where they feel safe and loved. Encourage them to navigate these preferences with patience, understanding, and a focus on fostering a healthy and secure attachment, and always refrain from criticizing or undermining the other caregiver in front of your child.